We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
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