You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
