I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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