R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
