So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
