That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
