i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sobbing to NWA
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
