Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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