i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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