When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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