She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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