peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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