there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
