She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
