Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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