I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
