after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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