There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
