We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
