You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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