So drunk, too bad you don't want this
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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