you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
