i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize