...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
