dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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