let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
