Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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