Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she told me i tasted like america
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
