we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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