Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
