omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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