why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i've created a new STD.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
