Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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