Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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