I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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