Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
