Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
