glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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