you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
