He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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