Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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