1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I AM VODKA MAN
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So. Much. Porn.
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