I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
