he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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