he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
