I'm drive I can fine osifer
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
