Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
