i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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