Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
