Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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