So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You smell like a Billy Joel song
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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