is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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