I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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