So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
