I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
