i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
