i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
