i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
