haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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